anxiety in the face of COVID-19

Emily is part of Team Nipple! She is from Long Island and once sold ad space, taught kindergarten and now spends her days raising her kids Bobby (1 years old), and Mary Clare (2 years old) and then writing about it. She will tell you she is both wildly obsessed with her children and overwhelmed by them every day. She was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety 6 weeks after her daughter’s birth. “It brought me strength and passion I didn’t know I had.” - Emily

Emily will take it from here —

The evolving COVID-19 situation is causing worry and anxiety for even the most laidback person. For someone like me, who is managing generalized anxiety, the current global pandemic is a very real trigger.

The biggest challenge is not knowing how it will all play out. There is no way to know what will happen and that feels scary. Accepting that no good comes from worrying about the unknown is the first step to coping with anxiety. If you’re scared or worried and feeling anxious I’ve included several different techniques you can try right now!

5 Techniques to try right now for Coping with COVID-19 Anxiety:

Shifting “What if” to “What is” - A mindfulness technique that has really been helping me create less suffering for myself is remembering the distinction between “what if” and “what is”. We cannot control or predict the “what if’s”, but they create the worry, anxiety and suffering. Try to bring yourself back to the “what is’s”. What is happening right now-I am safe and my family is in no immediate danger. Watch Cory Muscara’s short video explaining the “what if and what is” technique.
Cold Water Immersion - This is just what it sounds like. When you feel anxious, immerse your body in cold water. When anxiety strikes, it is typically not possible to fully submerge your body so do the next best thing. I splash the coldest water possible on my face and run my wrists under the coldest water. It creates a very similar effect. I am willing to try just about anything for reducing anxiety but when my therapist recommended this it was met with a heavy dose of skepticism. I thought, “really? Cold water on my face is going to make my anxiety go away?” But I figured, “what’s the harm in trying?” A shock of cold water increases the release of norepinephrine (the hormone that calms you down) to the bloodstream which has a positive influence on mood, attention and focus. Don’t knock it till you try it.
Put Down Your Phone - This not a formal mindfulness exercise, it is more just really good advice. The limitless amount of information we have at our fingertips via our smartphones undoubtedly causes us anxiety and suffering, particularly during the current situation. Take a moment to consciously put your phone away, in another room, maybe even turn it off. Then try one of the coping techniques above or just take a get outside and look up at the sky.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique - This technique forces you into the moment! You use your 5 senses to come back to the present moment. There is no wrong way to do this and I think you will find it forces you back into the moment very quickly.

5 – SEE – name five things you see

4 – FEEL – identify four things you can touch around you

3 – HEAR – acknowledge three things you can hear

2 – SMELL – find two things you can smell

1 – TASTE – identify one thing you can taste

5. Take 5 Breathing - Stretch your left hand out, palm up, fingers spread. Take your right pointer finger and point it at the base of your palm, this is the starting point. Begin to trace each finger from the starting point and back down again. When tracing up, deeply breath in through your nose, when tracing back down, breath out through your mouth. Repeat on all 5 fingers. The breathing slows the heart rate, the tracing provides sensory input to your brain. The technique gives you something to focus on rather than your current worry. Great for kids and adults alike!

I have learned so much about mindfulness and coping with my anxiety from Cory Muscara. Cory is the founder of the Long Island Center for Mindfulness. He serves as faculty at Columbia Teachers College and the University of Pennsylvania, where he teaches mindfulness and positive psychology, and in 2012 spent six months in silence living as a monk in Asia. He regularly appears on the Dr. Oz show as a guest expert in the topic of mindfulness. He offers a wealth of information on his YouTube channel, check him out! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUPP3b6x2a1FcUMTrsdAR2g/featured

Come say hi! You con fine me over at @Emilykasel

Emily

PARENTING WITH ANXIETY BY CAROLYN STACK MATERNAL WELLNESS RN

I am so excited to share this piece today for so many reasons.

It will 100 percent help every mom dealing with anxiety that will read this
It will help those be better support systems to those who are living with anxiety
It’s written by my sisters best friend who is basically my older sister because being four years younger than your sister makes all her BFFS your sisters as well. Carolyn seriously makes every person around her laugh and smile. She has a larger than life personality that makes you just simply want to be near her at all times. When you read Carolyn’s story below you will find that she lives with anxiety but it does not define her. She has dedicated her life to help those around her.

Carolyn is a Maternal Wellness Nurse at The Center for Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders at Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch, NJ. One of only 10 comprehensive programs in the entire country for PMADS. She is a two time survivor of Postpartum Anxiety, Intrusive Thoughts and Birth Trauma. She is a maternal mental health advocate and a peer group facilitator for The Bloom Foundation for Maternal Wellness. She lives at the Jersey Shore with her 2 little boys and amazing unicorn of a husband who helped her out of the dark.

Parenting with Anxiety: Coming Along for the Ride.

You know that meme about anxiety that goes something like, “Hold on. I’ve gotta overthink about it.” ? That’s pretty much me. The majority of the time. In some form, anxiety has always accompanied me on my journeys. Sometimes in the back seat quietly peaking its head up over my shoulder every once in while, and other times, like when I suffered from severe postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts, it has been the pilot of this ship. For the most part, I had a pretty good handle on my anxiety in my early 30’s. Life was moving along nicely. That was until I had kids. There’s nothing like babies and kids and pregnancy and childbirth and PARENTHOOD to wake up that backseat driver and push you right out of the front seat. But if you have anxiety as a parent it doesn't mean you have to always be teetering on the edge - holding on for dear life from that shriveled up fossilized french fry you've found lodge into the carseat. Postpartum goddess and guru, Karen Kleinman, author of Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts, says it best: “Recognizing and understanding your anxiety might mean the difference between unnecessary suffering and healthy coping.”

So what does parenting with anxiety mean for me? It means a lot of self care. And I don't mean in the form of manicures and massages and GNO’s (although don't get me wrong - these are important much needed time outs that can FEED your soul). I’m talking about the type of self care that involves doing the hard work, the heavy lifting. For me it means still going to therapy every other Monday to make myself accountable for my anxiety and to figure out what I can do to make it better. It means that I do a lot of checking in, grounding and mindfulness when I feel my brain going to that place. Stoping. Taking a deep breath. Fact checking what my brain is telling me vs what is really going on. ANXIETY IS A LIAR, and when we take the power away from our thoughts, they become that, just thoughts.

If I feel my heart starting to race or a tightness in my chest, it means pressing pause on whatever I'm doing and (if possible) splashing some water on my face, sticking my head in the freezer ( silly sounding but totally effective), or using some yummy smelling hand cream to get in touch with my five senses and to ground myself back to the present.

Sometimes doing my best also means taking medication. There is SO MUCH stigma around medication - everyone, everywhere wants to be the one who “doesn’t need it” - myself included for a long time. I would advocate for everyone else, but when it was my turn to take that little white pill I’d come up with every excuse in the book. My favorite analogy for taking medication for anxiety goes something like this: “I wear glasses. Can I manage without glasses? Well, yes, probably. I could squint a lot, constantly move up close to anything I want to see…I could just accept that I’ll never be able to see eagles flying in the sky or whales jumping out of the ocean.But why? Why try so hard to manage life when I could just put on a pair of glasses? No one would ever suggest a near-sighted person should just work harder. No one would say ‘Maybe that’s just your normal’ to someone that needs glasses. They would say ‘Let’s go to the eye doctor and get you a prescription so you’re able to see again.’ So, I’m here to tell you its ok. Its ok to take medication. Its one tool in your toolbox. It doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong, mama.

Sleep. I know that sleep is huge for me, so making sure that I get at least seven hours a night is a must. No screen time right before bed (easier said than done) so my mind can relax. I found checking Insta or FB right before I went to bed made my mind race with all sorts of thoughts. Find a little nighttime ritual that sets your body up for a deep sleep. We play ambient sounds thru Alexa and use some lavender spray on the sheets before bed. You could always put on your essential oils diffuser or do a quick mindful meditation thru one of many free apps available. I LOVE Insight Timer and Calm!

Lets go back to social media for a second, I know that this can be a huge trigger for me and a lot of other parents. Social media can be amazing and give us a support system and help us connect with other parents - just like in this platform. I find personally and professionally, that social media can also be fuel for the fire. I refuse to read sad or upsetting stories about babies and children. It doesn't make you a bad person to not read it - you must protect yourself - JUST KEEP ON SCROLLING! It’s like a social media version of ear muffs.

Exercise and clean eating is also a must to keep my anxiety at bay. It’s no secret that exercise helps improve our mood thru the release of endorphins. This was a major hurdle for me, but something that I had to commit to because I knew how important it was to my over all mental health. Doing some moderate to light exercise 3 x week makes me feel more level headed and clear. It makes me feel like a good mom! I’m not talking about anything crazy (but if that’s your thing by all means go for it). For me, it is 20 mins on the bike or a 30 min jog in the park. Just pushing your stroller around the block or getting out in the fresh air and running around with your kids at the park can be invigorating. And it’s a win/win for everyone involved.

Here’s another tough one: learning how to say NO and then doing it! If you’re anything like me you're a people pleaser and you want to do all of the things, all of the time. There would be some weekends we’d look at the calendar and see that we had committed ourselves to too many things, and that would send me into a complete tailspin and my anxiety would go into overdrive. I had to learn to under schedule. CRINGE. To say no to that second birthday party in 1 day or that playdate when your kid had a crappy night sleep, or your husband’s brother’s girlfriend’s BBQ that interferes with bedtime. Its OK to say NO!

And the big finale - the concept of radical acceptance. For years, I fought the fact that I was an anxious person. If someone mentioned that I was anxious, I’d almost physically wince. I’d get defensive and angry. When I was struggling with severe Postpartum Anxiety after my first was born, it took me OVER A YEAR to accept help. When I finally completely and totally accepted that anxiety was a part of my life and probably always would be— I stopped letting it define me. I was no longer an “anxious parent”. I was a parent who had anxiety - along with a long list of other wonderful traits.

So what am I saying? - I’m saying OWN IT. Talk about it - speak its name. Call yourself out. Tell your family and friends whats going on - they can’t begin to understand if they are left in the dark. I also started finding the humor in it. “Anxious mom, over here!” I’d say if the after school playground banter turned to something that would start to make my heart race. And you know what? I realized when I let my guard down - that I wasn't alone. That there are plenty of other parents out there having the same struggles, and we are all just doing our best and TRYING to do our best for our kids. At the end of the day, healthy moms equal healthy families and we owe it to ourselves and our children to be present and available.

anxiety + COVID-19

5 Techniques to try right now for Coping with COVID-19 Anxiety:

PARENTING WITH ANXIETY: COMING ALONG FOR THE RIDE

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